Drunk Rogue
by TheRealRogue
Summary: So Rogue drinks a little too much, and ends up telling everyone certain things she shouldn't say, but that Remy seems to be pretty pleased to hear. One shot. Something tells me I probably shouldn't post this; oh, well ;-


Disclaimer: Don't own them!

Note: Insane? Completely. Funny? I'm not sure. Random? Absolutely. I lost my head for posting this? Probably. Makes sense? Hardly. Artistic? In another dimension. But anyway, I wanted to share this absurd piece I wrote a few days ago in about twenty minutes. This is what happens when you eat way too many mini brownies.

Rogue stood up under everyone's attentive look. And when I say _everyone_, I mean it: Jean and Scott, all preppy dressed; Remy, Kitty, Kurt, Jubilee, Jamie and Bobby, as well as Storm, Beast, the Professor, and even Logan had finally agreed to join them for New Year's Eve dinner. They all had already shared their expectations and goals for the next 365 days, which included being the best friend, girlfriend, and team mate one could be; being a better leader; not _borrowing_ people's stuff without their permission; actually learning how to cook, and the list goes on an on with wishes of happiness and peace for humans and mutants, etcetera.

And it was her turn now.

What could she say? She couldn't think about anything precise. She couldn't think about anything at all, considering it was starting to get really hard to stay standing.

Hm, maybe she shouldn't have drunk that tequila bottle before dinner started.

And that beer.

And red wine now… which was pretty tasty, by the way; yeah, another little sip would make her feel more relaxed…

Or not…

What was that warm feeling behind her ears?

Did Jamie suddenly call for his clones? Oh, it seemed Kitty had clones too. And Kurt. Weird…

Focus, Rogue. Chill. Just babble a little about friendship and… how to stop global warming and it'll be ok; you'll get through this.

"Mah wishes for the next year…"

Hold on tight to the glass. Yeah, like that.

"Ah… don't know."

Her glittering, confused eyes searched for help in Storm's.

"Of course you know, Rogue; it is probably just hidden, deep in your heart." These people took these things very seriously and emotionally; aw, tear: "Take them out; say what you feel."

She felt like letting herself fall on the table and sleep; or like dancing a little bit. Yeah… it was contradictory, but she felt that way. She just didn't want to do this anymore.

Jean encouraged her with a nod and a smile and Jamie yawned.

All right, let's give it a try: what did she want for next year? Was that tomorrow already, next year? Damn… she'd have to think fast.

"For next year…"

Another sip, and she could feel the warm liquid going down her throat, to then reach her stomach; warmness… it felt funny.

What did she really want? What had she always wanted? To touch… well, she already had that: therapy had worked, yay! But…

Aha!! She finally got it.

"What Ah really want for next year…" she repeated, holding her glass like she was making a toast: "Ah want a boyfriend… t' fuck with."

Like a chain reaction, all eyes went like plates, even Jamie's, who suddenly seemed to be more awake than ever. Scott's arm stayed petrified, holding the fork, midway to his mouth.

But Rogue's gaze was fixated on the red, transparent, bright liquid against the light:

"Ah'm so sick an' tired of everyone havin' sex, everywhere… an' me… Ah've never even seen a dick, could yah believe that?"

When Rogue stared at her, Kitty didn't know what to do; so she only shrugged a little and started to giggle. Bobby had pulled his cell phone out and was already recording the whole thing; this would be memorable.

"Ah mean, maybe in… pictures an'… statues, but that don't count… at all."

Jean was already covering her entire face with her hands, leaving a small space among her fingers to look at Rogue; Scott would have liked to do something, but they never practiced anything like this in the Danger Room.

Nobody dared to move; except for Kitty's shoulders, that were already shaking in laughter.

And Logan's eyebrows, that were so furrowed it seemed his forehead was about to break in two.

Remy was as shocked as everyone, but he knew one thing: drunken people don't lie. Anyways, he felt he had to say something, and he'd later on work with her about her little new year's wish.

"_Chere_…"

"Yah shut your swampy mouth, yah swamp rat!" she grabbed a piece of turkey, but then let it fall on the dish again: "Yah think 'cause yah screw everythin' that moves an' wears panties, Ah'm neccesararely.. uh… ne…cessarily talkin' 'bout yah? Ha? Go screw yahself!"

When he created this institute with such noble purposes and values, the Professor never imagined he'd have to go through this.

But Rogue, she was starting to feel good. Free. And it was funny, damn it, to see everyone's faces. She'd go on.

"What Ah'm talkin' 'bout is… Ah don't wanna fuck with some random dude… nah… Ah want a boyfriend t' come home with an'… fuck, yah know? But someone Ah love. Someone Ah've got a good relationship with…"

Finally, Storm stood up too:

"I think it is time you go to sleep, Rogue..."

"Ah'm not done yet!" she yelled, brushing off Storms hands from her shoulders. "Everyone got t' explain their stuff… An' Ah just want a sex life! Ah'm sick of this! Ah'm twenty already, goddamn it!"

As Rogue finished her drink, Storm searched for Logan's eyes, and he understood right away: this was bloody awkward, yes, but he still had to do something, so he stood up and tried to help Storm to take Rogue out of there, somewhere she stopped making a complete fool out of herself.

"What?!" she whined again, dropping the glass to the floor: "Am Ah the only one here who wants t' fuck? How 'bout yah, Stormy? Ha? Ah saw yah… starin' at Logan once he was workin' out… Ha! Yah want it, don't yah?"

Now, Storm wanted the earth to swallow her:

"Stop saying nonsense, child! Did you loose your mind?"

Neither she nor Wolverine dared to look at each other's eyes (but Remy could have sworn he saw some kind of beam on Logan's face) while grabbing Rogue by both of her arms.

"Okay, I think this dinner is over now" said Jean, while Kitty kept laughing and Kurt didn't even know where to look at.

"Nah! Ah said Ah'm not done yet!" Rogue complained again, but then she stumbled against something and would have fallen flat butt on the floor if it wasn't because Logan held her.

"Damn it… Let's take you to your room, kid."

Remy came by to try to help too: night, bedroom, drunk Rogue… that sounded pretty good to him.

"I can take her upstairs, _mes amis_…"

The Canadian pierced him with his eyes:

"You go nowhere with her, bub, and least of all, like this."

"Ah, come on! Remy be a gentleman" he huffed, offended: "Y' really think I'd…?" But it was better not to try to clear it up, because it could get darker instead.

Before leaving the room, held by Logan and Storm, Rogue managed to yell:

"Happy new year!"

(…)

January firsts where always so quiet and weird, like you think you have to get used to something new you don't even feel yet. But this time, Rogue felt her head was about to explode.

"What yah talkin' 'bout?" she asked Kitty. The younger girl didn't know exactly how to put this:

"Well, Rogue, last night at dinner, you were like totally drunk, and… don't you remember?"

Not really.

"Ah remember walkin' towards the dinnin' room. Ah did feel pretty… tipsy. But Ah can't recall anythin' else. Why?"

Kitty began to giggle again:

"You better, like, watch it yourself."

She gave Rogue a cell phone and she started to watch a video of herself, standing in the middle of everyone at dinner, holding a glass.

Horror took over her when she heard the words that came out of her own mouth:

"_Ah want a boyfriend… t' fuck with__..."_

END.


End file.
